Friday, February 22, 2008

HUH?


“That's not change we can believe in. That’s change we can Xerox”…?

Hillary, that’s not an experienced political zinger, that’s a bad open mike night!

Top ten things I wish Hillary Clinton would have done to overcome that horrible one-liner:

10. Lean forward tap the Microphone and say, “Is this thing on?”
9. Look over both shoulders and say, “Who said that?”
8. Stage whisper in Barack Obama’s ear, “Could you get me Deval Patrick’s number?”
7. Repeat the line again—preferably with a faux Yiddish accent.
6. Threaten the audience, “Hey, I’m going to keep saying it until you vote for me.”
5. Point to the back wall of the auditorium and stammer, “Ummm….Bear!” Then run off the stage.
4. Shrug and say, “Hey, it’s not like I write this stuff”.
3. Six words: “Don’t forget to tip your waiters!”
2. “And go ahead and put the kids to bed before the ten O’clock debate, ‘cause it gets a little blue.”
…And the number one thing I wish Hillary Clinton would have done after she served up that terrible one-liner:
1. Slump down, pour herself a glass of water and while she was pouring, mumble something like, “It’s all in my report.”
J.A.L.

4 comments:

Steve said...

Delightful. Keep 'em coming.

Steve said...

Did you catch Chris Matthews, aka "Tweety" undressing Texas State Senator Kirk Watson when he failed to summon up a list of Obama's legislative accomplishments after the debate? The best part was what came later, when Keith Olbermann embarrassed the embarrasser. Chris didn't talk about that the next day, though.

lfjackal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lfjackal said...

Yeah, I was livid with Matthews for about ten minutes. Then I decided at this point in the campaign he probably did the Obama camp a favor. Watson struck me early on as a coattail rider. Even though he did seem to be fumbling for a similar point to mine for the main reason he's supporting Obama, he really should have known a couple of his senate votes. I even knew that. I even knew about the bill he tried to pass regarding the nuclear company. Even though it failed to pass, I consider it a positive achievement.